freaking out

So I’ve had a pretty rough week emotionally so far.

I am a pretty anxious person which I guess has turned into a little bit of depression. I also am a hypochondriac and well now that I’m not working and starting a business everything is re-surfacing. I have more time to myself, more time to think and psych myself out and this week is hard.

I second guess everything I do, I panic over things that aren’t worth panicking about. I fear everything.

All this was very hard to admit to myself and say out loud, but I think that not saying anything and keeping it all inside gives it too much power. After I lost my job it became clear that this is what I need to focus on in my life. In 29 years I have never had a problem finding work and now well let me tell you, it’s not easy. I think that this may be God’s way of telling me that it’s time to face my fears and deal with everything I’ve been suppressing.

It’s hard, it’s not fun. But here I am, journaling about it. Trying to be real and honest about it. It’s like what Ben told me once, we all have our things, we all have something. We’re all in this.

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International Women’s Day

Alright so as most of you know I’ve had a hell of a year and it all started on IWD in 2017. Getting fired on that day and having to deal with the side effects…

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